Report from the Me First Aid Party Convention

Daytona Beach, FL (AP)--Inspired by both the debate on health care and the emergence of the Tea Party movement, a group of independent Americans have gathered here in Daytona in advance of Sunday's running of the Daytona 500.

Calling themselves the "Me First Aid Party", organizers and participants have come from throughout the country to signal the beginning of what organizers are calling "a stand against medically trained doctors and the medical schools that produce them."

"The time has come," said spokesperson Billy Bahoo, "to declare to the medically trained elitists that we are not accepting anymore their pompous claims of superiority. We reject the notion that their so-called "education" gives them the right to Lord over us with their medical "knowledge". It is time for the common citizen to feel empowered to diagnose their own illnesses and, moreover, be free to treat them as WE SEE FIT!"

The Me First Aid movement first came to light as a response to the rising cost of health care and gained traction with other populist movements such as the Tea Party and the lesser known groups Citizens for Higher Education without Education and Ignorance is a First Amendment Right.

The Me First Aid platform, announced last Saturday at a gala Bar-B-Que, insists on acknowledging that education, specialization, and training are unnecessary tools of the ruling elite designed to hinder the advance of ordinary citizens. In his keynote address, Bahoo repeatedly charged those in attendance to "flaunt your ignorance in the streets! Treat open wounds, perform surgical procedures, and diagnose long standing illnesses while possessing absolutely no medical knowledge! Only then can we take back health care and this great country!

The convention is scheduled to conclude Sunday